just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize