My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
