K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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