Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
