im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
