when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize