yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
