i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
