Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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