just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And then he peed in my hair
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