I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
