Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
