Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize