I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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