You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
