But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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