I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
