i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
