If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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