don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
