So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
