shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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