Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
