U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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