help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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