So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
