It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize