Soap is not a condiment
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
