He asked me if I "almost moaned"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
