yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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