you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
