Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
