Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize