Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
