Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
