Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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