I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
