She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
