this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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