I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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