I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
