I puked a lego.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Randomize
