I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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