Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
