I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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