Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
