Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
