she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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