Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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