put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well I can't set my house on fire every night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
