Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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