Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize