were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
