Don't you send me to vm
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
