Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
