Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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