I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
