i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he just fucked me for my cheese.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
