if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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