I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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