I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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