Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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