I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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