I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
