apparently the secret to your success is patron
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
