he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
