Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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