Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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