Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
